“Speedwork is a waste of time” Claims Coach

In a rare insight into the innards of the McCarkiss inner coaching circle, ‘Coach Grump’ speaks out on the fallacy of speedwork in road running and fact that it’s just not worth bothering with.

So many runners of today run themselves ragged around the track, hating every minute of it, week in, week out, on nothing more than the promise of Runner’s World that it will guarantee them a 10k PB with less training than ever. It’s mindless.

I’ve been working with our athlete… what’s his name… the one with the fat thighs… and he’s done bugger all speedwork, we’ve just had him plodding out the easy miles and building his aerobic base; and he just waddled round a parkrun on Saturday with a new PB, breaking his own course record by over half a minute.

Simkiss Sets a new Course Record at Stratford Parkrun. Photo courtesy of Sam Allard

Simkiss Sets a new Course Record at Stratford Parkrun. Very professional photo courtesy of Sam Allard

When asked what other factors could’ve contributed to Simkiss’ unexpected PB, ‘Grump promptly dispelled any doubt over his theories.

No… nothing else would’ve made any difference at all, absolutely nothing – it was purely down to the low level of speedwork and increase in mileage, nothing else, you idiot.

Take that other lad, the old one who’s thin up top and buggered off overseas – he’s dropped his base mileage significantly and tries to make the most of the mileage he does do by doing interval sessions on the treadmill, and his times have just sky rocketed – he can barely call himself a runner now – I hear he’s even entered a bloody Triathlon!

As a close personal friend to McCarthy, I was angered by these remarks, but powerless to argue them. Congratulations to Simkiss for running a 5K PB in a solo effort at Stratford Parkrun of 15:53, bettering his previous course record of 16:27 and more importantly his PB of 15:56 achieved long ago in 2011 and equalled once more in 2013. Simkiss had this to say:

I was hoping to marginally improve on my previous time here (Stratford Parkrun) in May – I went out at what I thought was a sensible pace but soon conceded I’d gone out too hard and just tried to hang on – running sub 16 just wasn’t even in my mind today let alone breaking this 5 year old PB. I’m bloomin’ chuffed!

More photos were taken by spectator and close friend of The Project, Pete Matthews – capturing the Simkiss gurn-fest that was the final lap.


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