Race Report: EMGP Corby 5

As the doping scandal involving Project Head Coach ‘Nolberto Salanozar’ and Richard Simkiss broke across the world, it was left to dopey, grumpy and sleepy of the McCarkiss Elite Project to travel in search of better headlines in the Corby 5, which is actually at East Carlton Park in Leicestershire. Adcock, Jordan and McCarthy headed to the fourth race in the EMGP series. Unavailable for selection, Simkiss was caught up in the media storm that has surrounded the Project over the last 24 hours.

MCKEP Chairman, Richard Simkiss, released the following statement to the waiting media in his back garden;

Head Coach, Nolberto Salanozar, has been accused of violating rules, including claims he was involved with a dope like myself, in 2002.

As you all know, I am part of Salanozar’s Midlands stable, the McCarkiss Elite Project. There is no suggestion I have broken any rules.

Myself and Salanozar deny any wrongdoing. Salanozar was instrumental in the foundation of the Project. As Head Coach at the prestigious McCarkiss camp based in the Midlands, England, Salanozar has worked with us since 2013 and has coached myself  for 14 years.

I regret to announce that following the allegations, the Project will be suspending our relationship with Nolberto. An Emergency General Meeting will be held on the 06/06/15 where a motion will be tabled to sever ties with our current sponsors, with a view to taking the Project in a fresh direction.

This is an extremely dark day for the Project, the worst in our history.

Nolberto Solano 8

Nolberto Solano – nothing to do with this at all

Back in Leicestershire, a testing course lay ahead with a sharp incline in the first half mile followed by a ridiculously steep downhill, a flat bit, a hilly bit, a downhill bit, then a final mile of climb. Usual pre race spotting completed, there was no sign of the lads who had given Adcock an ass kicking at Blisworth, thoughts turned to a possible MCKEP 1,2,3, surely such a monumental milestone couldn’t pass without Simkiss in attendance? Simkiss leads the EMGP series with 2nd and 3rd still up for grabs, a win for Adcock would secure him as favourite whilst McCarthy and Jordan were still faffing around in 3rd and 4th, unable to string two decent runs together.

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C/O Andy Meads

The race began at a comfortable pace with Jordan sitting off Adcock and McCarthy, followed by Andy Meads of Harborough. The last bit wasn’t supposed to happen, the MCKEP trio fancied a nice plod on what was a lovely warm evening, a chance to enjoy the picturesque countryside. A somewhat pedestrian mile of 5:31 wasn’t going to be enough to create a big enough lead to allow that, so approaching the downhill a decision was made by McCarthy on behalf of the lead pack to utilise the downhill and ‘stick a fast one in’. A quad bashing downhill mile followed in 4:42, opening up a vast gap to 4th and an opportunity to take it steady before the final uphill. But it didn’t quite happen that way. The third mile ticked over in 5:20 and first Adcock fell away and then re-joined, then Jordan did the same, and then at around 3.5 mile McCarthy dropped off before ushering himself on to re-join the lead pair and stop the elastic from snapping. There was no sign of anyone kicking on, instead each athlete joined in a game of pass the parcel with the white flag, with no sign of unwrapping it just yet, the music went on, or is that musical chairs?

4 down in 5:35 and the final climb approached, well technically they approach it, yet still the threesome were strung out in a line across the road. McCarthy urged someone to ‘go away and win it so I can stop’, but no-one did. With half a mile to go the climb was at its most gruelling section and surprisingly it was Adcock who fell away first, that final rep in which he left Simkiss for dead on the track not 24 hours earlier seemingly put an end to his race. Jordan smirked with delight having sat the last rep out. It was now down to McCarthy or Jordan to take this one. Would it be McCarthy, a hater of hills who not 3 days earlier had run yet another Half Marathon quicker than Simkiss, or Jordan, who had already run ten miles earlier in the day, the man who beat Simkiss at London by a good three minutes.

It was Jordan, the man who is faster than Simkiss over the marathon who fell first, leaving McCarthy, the man who is faster than Simkiss over half marathon (three times actually….) to flummox up the final hill and push on for home to take the win in 27:02, wafting the MCKEP logo on his vest like a potent fart, as he crossed the line. Jordan trundled home in second with a time of 27:16, before Adcock jogged in for third with 27:24. The final hill had been brutal.

MCKEP Chairman, Richard Simkiss, released the following statement;

A 1,2,3. I can’t believe it. This is an extremely bright day for the project, the best in our history

Running the numbers through a prediction system based on complete guesswork it looks like having only run two races, Simkiss is going to take the title with another race victory or two and 2 second place finishes. McCarthy looks set to take two third places and a second to give him a total of 11, possibly winning a race. Adcock will better his 4 third place finishes with a race win or two to give a best 5 score of 13 whilst Jordan will come in to form and finish with 15 points and a race win.

Please note, none of this may add up correctly and there may not be enough races left for that many race wins to be distributed as described.

 

    Best Score from…..
  Specimen 1 Race 2 Races 3 Races 4 Races 5 Race Prediction
1st Simkiss 1 2 NA NA 7
2nd McCarthy 1 3 8 NA 11
3rd Adcock 3 6 9 12 13
4th Jordan 2 9 16 NA 15

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