The McCarkiss Elite Project can confirm that athlete Richard Simkiss will not be taking part in the Bristol Half Marathon this year.
The event saw the project’s training regime begin in ernest back in 2013, at a time when things were simpler at MCKEP HQ. Before backroom staff were bought in to deal with team kit, physio, general admin and logistics (such as where McCarthy left his safety pins), when reports were less egotistical and were written in first person, and when the site was in its infancy as a poorly adapted generic WordPress site theme (oh wait… it still is). The founders of MCKEP strung together a 5-6 week block of training following injury (read more here) to decimate their 75min target to finish the event in 74:01.
Sadly there will be no such repeat in 2014 for Simkiss who in a show of weakness momentarily failed in maintaining the project’s façade of elitism and was duly punished with refusal of an elite entry. Meanwhile the northern charm of smooth operator McCarthy consolidated his place in the elite pen with a combination of mediocre performances and personal references to Tipton, Bud Baldaro and his elite entry at Reading.
It is understood that the McCarkiss Admin Team have maybe sent an email containing the following content:
To the organiser, if you can call yourself that.
Do you not remember the uproar over the request of a public apology in2006? Do you not remember the embarrassment that was heaped upon the city following the actions prior to 1791? I urge you to not to make a mistake bigger than that, I urge you to not commit an act that will require an apology of such scale that slavery will seem like working as a Barista at Costa, just a bit less boring.
The extent of Bristol’s involvement in the slave trade resonates in practically every civil and religious city landmark: from Merchants Wharf to the Redcliffe Caves, where slaves are said to have been incarcerated, to Queen Square, the city’s most serene public space, completed at the height of Bristol’s involvement in the trade and where mayor Nathaniel Day petitioned against a tax on slaves.
The extent of Bristol’s involvement in the victimisation of Simkiss cannot continue, you cannot incarcerate his elite status any more.
Simkiss was personally informed that paid entries were still open should he still wish to enter. In an act of defiance, Simkiss has refused to run, stating:
I categorically will not pay for entry whilst McCarthy gallivants around with his elite status – I suggest the organisers reconsider, or risk missing out on the crowd draw of the full MCKEP experience. It would be like One Direction appearing without that bloke what all them girls love.
In summary, Simkiss will not be appearing at the Bristol Half 2014.