Operation Big Smoke Update: London’s Burning
In a scene similar to the hit 90’s ITV show London’s Burning, Simkiss is piling on the drama in the form of tears, pain
and sex scandal. After only 4 days of the 98 day schedule the white flag is being ironed and fastened to the flagpole.
Deep into the schedule on his second run of the campaign, on day two, on an easy 4 miler, pain that had flared up initially ON DAY ONE brought Simkiss to walking pace (still quite quick given his nature) and he declared himself resting for the day and ‘maybe going into the pool’.
Looking through the log the following quotes were found not 24 hours after this slight knee pain, and with 94 days of training still to go. In a bizarre rant similar to Benitez on Ferguson, this up and down tale of self doubt and delusion has led some commentators to question the sanity of Simkiss. The way in which he goes from despair to excitement in relation to his marathon prospects is a clear sign of mental instability. We asked celebrity big brother psychologist and ‘north west running scene regular’ Geoff Beattie for his opinion’,
‘The lad needs more fake tan, so he does’.
The unseen before transcript of ranting text messages is below.
‘I think I have a one week window before all hope of a sub 2:30 is gone’
‘About to sit with peas, hopefully be rosey tomorrow’
‘Maybe being overreactive but christ I’m miserable at the moment’
‘Gonna give it a week to sort itself out, if I’m not back on track then London is a no go.’
‘Running is definetly a bad idea, so peed off about knee’
‘Already pondering an Autumn marathon’
‘Icing seems to help, temporarily’
Just audibly farted…(Oh no that wasn’t related)
‘I have ass problems (again…)
‘Yes, I get to try a run today
‘Somethings fermenting in there as I seem to be constantly bubbling out baby farts (Sorry again this isn’t related…)
‘Only a short run’
‘That’s it, I have decided VLM is going to be a half arsed effort, going to use it as a springboard for an autumn marathon’
‘Just reading more sub 2:30 threads’
I have pondered about Edinburgh’
‘Injury has gone to my head, my career is over’
‘Just hope this evenings jog is pain free’
‘2:30 is the target’
‘4mi tonight then I will start base building next week’
To send your messages of support for Simkiss, contact us and we can pass them onto the local sanitorium where he is currently being held for his own safety with other former aspiring marathon runners and Jim Tarbuck.