BMC Regional 5000 @ Tipton: Emptying out the Jordan Hurt Locker

As Jordan and Simkiss prepared to lock horns on the track for the first time, McCarthy Senior (who has a massive amount to answer for in the form of his son), changed everything with a request for something that didn’t feature Simkiss to be included on the website.

News of this request began circulating global media outlets:

It’s all about Simkiss these days, Mckep means Mckep – we will let you take control of your own club.

– Theresa May

We will ban MCKEP from entering the US following a heavy Simkiss bias in write ups, and also due to its links with the middle east.

– Donald Trump

Following the international response to T-Mack’s statement, moments before the race Simkiss issued the following statement:

Due to the unbearable weight of public opinions I am withdrawing from the Tipton 5000m in the interests of national security

– Richard Simkiss

And followed it up with:

It’s also a bit warm

So it would be a solo outing for Jordan at the BMC regional meet, flying the flag alone for MCKEP which he duly failed to do by wearing his Leicester Coronations Vest instead. Anyways the field looked strong and a bit of cloud and breeze had brought the temperature plummeting from 33 to 29 degrees. A few familiar faces toed the line in the form of Ed “the beard” Banks (aka ETBB), evergreen vet Rob “can run a 2:25 marathon for fun” Keal (aka RCRATTFMFFK – or maybe not ), and project associate Dan Bodman, who was recently the subject of an online waterboarding from Adcock regarding an alleged Parkrun barcode incident that took place during the recent MCKEP training camp in South Wales.

Anecdotes and unintelligible acronyms aside, all three were in decent shape not to mention the half dozen Tipton vests who also lined up.

The gun goes (bang)…

Tipton BMC 5000 - Start

In a MCKEP first the race was broadcast live on Facebook following requests from at least two people. Unfortunately the footage was at a jaunty 90 degree angle, and featured only 40 yards of the back straight / top bend, causing something of an outcry from the 3 viewers.

It was fucking rubbish.

– Mrs Jordan

Nevertheless it did provide a lap by lap summary of proceedings, with Jordan opting to hang around near the back of the pack for the first couple of laps, which still took him through the first 800 in around 2:26.

Tipton BMC 5000_800m

Two similar laps followed to bring up 1mi, by which time Jordan had been promoted to third place, near the front of the pack with Keal leading and Banks not far behind. 4:53 for the first mile.

Tipton BMC 5000_1600m

The next 4 laps passed in a similar fashion, although the group thinned leaving CJ, Joe Smith of Tipton, and Bodman in the mix for 3rd . Banks had by this point overhauled Keal, and was running solo at the front. 9:53 for 2 mi. Now feeling more than a little warm Jordan tried his best to keep the pace consistent but in the reality was that the pace was now slipping, and lactate was now having its say. Smith passed with 800 to go and surged on to catch Keal and claim second. Rather than try to describe the ‘hanging on’ feeling, the picture paints the words –

Tipton BMC 5000_Finish

Jordan nevertheless dug in as best he could and came home in 15:36 for 4th place. Although sub 15:30 had been the initial aim, Jordan found this was an acceptable result, given unfavourable conditions and recent high mileage.

It was alright in the end

– C Jordan

The live broadcast ended with a lengthy press conference with winner Ed Banks, the entirety of which is transcribed below:

CJ “A few words for the live broadcast Ed?”
EB “Hello to all my fans”
( End )

So the road to Berlin continues. A few tune up races to follow in late August / early September. Tune back in then for more Simkiss free reports…


Photos courtesy of ‘Suze An Dave’ via Facebook

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